1
00:00:04,014 --> 00:00:05,681
Morning, everyone.
2
00:00:05,765 --> 00:00:06,808
Morning, sir.
3
00:00:06,892 --> 00:00:08,393
Hey, look.
4
00:00:08,477 --> 00:00:09,853
We're food stain buds.
5
00:00:09,978 --> 00:00:11,939
Who are you wearing? Porridge?
6
00:00:12,023 --> 00:00:13,024
Um…
7
00:00:14,025 --> 00:00:15,401
Oatmeal.
8
00:00:15,485 --> 00:00:16,486
Hmm.
9
00:00:16,986 --> 00:00:18,655
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:18,739 --> 00:00:19,823
He didn't even wipe it off.
11
00:00:19,907 --> 00:00:21,491
He's totally given up on life.
12
00:00:21,575 --> 00:00:22,909
It's loneliness.
13
00:00:22,993 --> 00:00:24,911
Ever since Kevin left
for his sabbatical in Paris,
14
00:00:24,995 --> 00:00:26,330
he hasn't been the same.
15
00:00:26,414 --> 00:00:27,998
I tried to get him out of the house.
16
00:00:28,082 --> 00:00:30,334
I invited him to bar trivia,
but he turned me down.
17
00:00:30,418 --> 00:00:32,462
Not that Trivia Newton
John needed the help.
18
00:00:32,546 --> 00:00:33,839
We're nationally ranked.
It's no big deal.
19
00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:35,257
You're right, it's not.
20
00:00:35,341 --> 00:00:38,760
Well, aren't you all just a
bunch of big-hearted dum-dums.
21
00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,744
You want to make him feel less lonely?
22
00:00:40,972 --> 00:00:42,432
This is how you do it.
23
00:00:42,516 --> 00:00:44,725
A case file? Yeah, dude loves work.
24
00:00:44,809 --> 00:00:46,477
I thought all your cases were closed.
25
00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:47,896
You were bragging
about it so much last night,
26
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,731
I couldn't hear the end
of the neighbors' fight.
27
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:52,025
It ended in sex. It always does.
It didn't make me horny.
28
00:00:52,109 --> 00:00:55,155
It's a cold case from my
first year as a detective.
29
00:00:55,239 --> 00:00:56,239
Is it active again?
30
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,991
No, but Holt doesn't have to know that.
31
00:00:58,075 --> 00:00:59,075
So you're gonna lie to him?
32
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:01,912
No, I'm going to make him
forget about his sadness
33
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,706
through the power of…
34
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:05,625
Distraction!
35
00:01:08,879 --> 00:01:09,880
He's gone.
36
00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:11,966
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
37
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:32,197
Ah! Hola, mi capitán.
38
00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:34,199
Why am I speaking Italian, you might ask?
39
00:01:34,283 --> 00:01:35,283
That was Spanish.
40
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:36,910
Yeah, there are too many languages.
41
00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:39,121
An old case of mine
is starting to heat up,
42
00:01:39,205 --> 00:01:43,125
and I'd like your old help
to help me solve it. Señor?
43
00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:45,170
Still Spanish. Right.
44
00:01:45,254 --> 00:01:47,923
Joey Garibaldi was a mafia lieutenant.
45
00:01:48,048 --> 00:01:49,883
About eight years ago,
I was closing in on him
46
00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:50,967
when he disappeared.
47
00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:53,930
But now I'm hearing chatter on the street
48
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,681
that he's back in town.
49
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,309
Will you help me?
50
00:01:57,892 --> 00:01:58,893
Mmm.
51
00:01:58,977 --> 00:02:00,854
Sounds interesting. Count me in.
52
00:02:00,938 --> 00:02:02,523
Yes! Thank you very much, sir.
53
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,192
Uh, good-a bye-a.
54
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,070
Italian.
55
00:02:07,946 --> 00:02:09,572
Ooh, standardized tests?
56
00:02:09,656 --> 00:02:10,990
I have a great trick.
57
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:13,201
Fill in all the bubbles with Wite-Out,
58
00:02:13,285 --> 00:02:16,038
jams the machine, everyone passes.
59
00:02:16,122 --> 00:02:18,707
These are practice for
the lieutenant's exam.
60
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:21,670
They're kicking my butt.
I can't get better than 70%.
61
00:02:22,087 --> 00:02:23,672
C-minus, the perfect grade.
62
00:02:23,756 --> 00:02:25,674
You pass, but you're still hot.
63
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:28,136
Captain Holt gave me
his test to help me study.
64
00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:31,931
Look at what the grader
wrote on his essay.
65
00:02:32,015 --> 00:02:33,683
"Thank you for writing this.
66
00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:35,519
"Reading it made me a better man."
67
00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:37,813
I'll never be as good a leader as Holt.
68
00:02:37,897 --> 00:02:40,107
You need to stop focusing on tests.
69
00:02:40,608 --> 00:02:43,987
There's more to life than
scores and book learning, okay?
70
00:02:44,071 --> 00:02:46,489
Look at me, I've had
no official dance training.
71
00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,283
Yet here I stand.
72
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,136
A miracle of movement.
73
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:57,877
Hey, you guys seen Boyle?
74
00:02:57,961 --> 00:03:00,339
Yep, he's in a little
ball under his desk.
75
00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:02,508
DIAZ: Oh, no.
76
00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:04,594
Did you watch Grimm again last night?
77
00:03:04,678 --> 00:03:06,012
You know it gives you nightmares.
78
00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:07,263
I'm sad.
79
00:03:07,347 --> 00:03:08,931
Jason died this morning.
80
00:03:09,015 --> 00:03:10,391
I'm sorry. That's terrible.
81
00:03:10,475 --> 00:03:12,227
Is he a friend of yours? He was my dog.
82
00:03:12,311 --> 00:03:13,770
Oh, okay, so no big deal then.
83
00:03:13,854 --> 00:03:15,272
No, it is to me.
84
00:03:15,356 --> 00:03:17,899
But don't worry,
85
00:03:17,983 --> 00:03:19,633
I'll find a way to power through.
86
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:23,824
Oh, God.
87
00:03:24,032 --> 00:03:25,783
This is how Jason saw the world.
88
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:27,453
Wait, was this your dog
that humped everything?
89
00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:29,038
Yeah, that's how he died.
90
00:03:29,122 --> 00:03:30,873
He was going to town
on one of my snow boots,
91
00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:33,000
and his little heart just gave out.
92
00:03:33,084 --> 00:03:34,919
He didn't even finish. Gross.
93
00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:37,703
Anyway, we have to work a
string of BandEs on 4th Street.
94
00:03:38,006 --> 00:03:39,007
It's time for you to move on.
95
00:03:39,091 --> 00:03:40,091
It's what Jackson would've wanted.
96
00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:42,095
Jason! Whatever, little buddy.
97
00:03:42,929 --> 00:03:45,848
Captain, thank you for meeting me.
98
00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,308
Sorry to make you work on a Saturday.
99
00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:48,560
No, nonsense, I was free.
100
00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:49,770
Kevin is still in Paris.
101
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,773
Is he? Wow, I totally forgot about that.
102
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,942
Any-hoops, this is
all the stuff that we got
103
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,944
from Garibaldi's apartment
after he disappeared.
104
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,078
Tell me what you see.
105
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,157
This man is in every photograph.
106
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,534
Nick DiTullio.
107
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,454
I actually brought him in eight
years ago, but he refused to talk.
108
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:06,955
Of course, you know the saying,
109
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,751
"Time shall open up
the mouth of every man
110
00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:11,086
"to the truth of his neighbor."
111
00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:12,962
All right, it's a real saying.
Let's not dwell on it.
112
00:04:13,046 --> 00:04:15,382
The point is, he's definitely
gonna tell us where Garibaldi is.
113
00:04:15,466 --> 00:04:17,551
I don't know where
Garibaldi is, all right?
114
00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:18,844
It's not like we were close.
115
00:04:18,928 --> 00:04:20,096
I was just his trainer at the gym.
116
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:22,014
Then why were you always
going out to dinner with him?
117
00:04:22,098 --> 00:04:25,227
Was he doing reps of linguine? Nice.
118
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:27,229
Look, you don't say
no to Garibaldi, all right?
119
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,940
That's why I always let him work his
chest and his abs and never his legs.
120
00:04:30,024 --> 00:04:32,944
Yeah, the key is balance.
That's why I never worked any of it.
121
00:04:33,028 --> 00:04:34,320
Unless you guys are
gonna arrest me, I got to go.
122
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,004
There's an emergency at the gym.
123
00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:38,283
"Emergency at the gym."
124
00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:40,119
Just when two cops show up at his door.
125
00:04:40,203 --> 00:04:41,912
That seems suspicious.
We should follow him.
126
00:04:41,996 --> 00:04:44,748
Yeah, this case might
actually lead somewhere.
127
00:04:44,832 --> 00:04:46,376
Why do you sound surprised?
128
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,214
Because every day
on this job is a wonder.
129
00:04:52,717 --> 00:04:54,219
Damn right it is.
130
00:05:05,689 --> 00:05:07,984
Medical examiner, jackpot.
131
00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:09,736
The gym is full of bodies.
132
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,070
No, Department of Health.
133
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:13,072
There's been an outbreak of the mumps.
134
00:05:13,156 --> 00:05:15,701
[CHUCKLES] Mumps, that's a funny word.
135
00:05:15,785 --> 00:05:18,829
It's actually a very serious and
highly contagious infectious disease.
136
00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:19,913
Yeah, but we're fine.
137
00:05:19,997 --> 00:05:22,542
We were only in contact with
that guy for a couple of seconds.
138
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,502
Plus, he didn't even
lick any of our eyeballs.
139
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:26,087
I'm afraid you both have the mumps.
140
00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:28,757
[CHUCKLES] Mumps, still a funny word.
141
00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:31,344
Are we gonna die?
142
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:36,057
So, you both have the mumps.
143
00:05:36,141 --> 00:05:37,893
Sorry to say, it's very contagious.
144
00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:39,853
You may not want to be here, Detective.
145
00:05:39,937 --> 00:05:40,937
Oh, it's cool.
146
00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:43,106
I keep up to date on all my vaccinations.
147
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:45,109
I'm immune to stuff
you've never even heard of.
148
00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:47,987
But not immune to braggadocio.
[CHUCKLING]
149
00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:49,864
Anyhow, over the next several hours,
150
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:52,910
you will more than likely
develop fever, aching, fatigue.
151
00:05:52,994 --> 00:05:53,994
Doesn't sound too bad.
152
00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:55,496
Also, tart foods will
cause intense jaw pain,
153
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:57,707
so you may want to avoid sour candies.
154
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,876
What?
You may get painful goiter-like swelling
155
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,963
in your neck and often
extreme testicular discomfort.
156
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:05,174
Okay, okay. Cool, cool.
157
00:06:05,258 --> 00:06:06,675
Cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool.
158
00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,010
No doubt.
159
00:06:08,094 --> 00:06:09,929
Due to the highly
contagious nature of the virus,
160
00:06:10,013 --> 00:06:12,891
you will both be quarantined to
your houses for the next nine days.
161
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:14,851
Well, nine days in isolation.
162
00:06:14,935 --> 00:06:17,270
Sir, I'd be happy to keep you company.
163
00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:20,691
We can watch the ten-part
Nicholas Nickleby special on PBS.
164
00:06:20,775 --> 00:06:23,110
Hear there's a lot of
long, quiet stretches.
165
00:06:23,194 --> 00:06:24,946
I do love long, quiet stretches,
166
00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:26,364
but I don't want to be a burden.
167
00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:29,201
Plus, I'm getting used
to being on my own.
168
00:06:29,619 --> 00:06:34,041
Or we could be quarantined
together, you know, work the case.
169
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,585
Yes, that actually sounds kind of fun.
170
00:06:37,669 --> 00:06:40,129
Kind of?
It's gonna be the best week ever.
171
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:43,509
I'm sorry, did you not hear me
say "extreme testicular discomfort"?
172
00:06:43,593 --> 00:06:46,095
Yes, we heard you, Dr. Bad News Doctor.
173
00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:48,890
Okay, so I talked to Captain Holt.
174
00:06:48,974 --> 00:06:50,324
He and Jake have the mumps.
175
00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:52,060
I'm in charge until Holt gets better.
176
00:06:52,144 --> 00:06:54,980
Hello, you wanted to see if
you could make a great captain.
177
00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:56,608
Now's your chance to shine.
178
00:06:56,942 --> 00:06:58,693
You're the pretty little understudy.
179
00:06:58,777 --> 00:07:02,572
And the aging lead?
Well, she just fell down the stairs.
180
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:08,120
Now all's you got to do is
beat those wings and fly.
181
00:07:08,204 --> 00:07:09,371
So for the next two weeks,
182
00:07:09,455 --> 00:07:11,332
Captain Holt will be on medical leave,
183
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:13,502
which means I am the acting captain.
184
00:07:13,877 --> 00:07:16,045
And we are your royal subjects.
185
00:07:16,129 --> 00:07:17,130
Do continue.
186
00:07:17,215 --> 00:07:19,341
I want this precinct to
get our normal work done,
187
00:07:19,425 --> 00:07:21,969
but also, we're gonna
clean out the evidence room,
188
00:07:22,053 --> 00:07:23,471
step up community service,
189
00:07:23,638 --> 00:07:27,851
and complete these 22 additional tasks.
190
00:07:27,935 --> 00:07:31,479
Every time we check one off
the list, you're gonna hear this bell.
191
00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:33,942
It's the sound of victory.
192
00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:36,592
Hmm, you should
add "fix bell" to that list.
193
00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:39,531
Morning, Captain. Peralta.
194
00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:41,867
I'd like to introduce you to someone.
195
00:07:42,535 --> 00:07:43,536
[GRUNTS]
196
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:46,831
His name is Simon, and I hate him.
197
00:07:46,915 --> 00:07:48,208
Hello, Simon.
198
00:07:49,126 --> 00:07:50,794
This is Balthazar.
199
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:53,505
He's an evil demon who
spits fire in my throat.
200
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:54,673
Goiters, huh?
201
00:07:54,757 --> 00:07:56,133
Anyway.
202
00:07:56,217 --> 00:07:58,135
I've been looking over these
photographs of the restaurant,
203
00:07:58,219 --> 00:08:00,723
and I've identified several
other known mob types.
204
00:08:00,889 --> 00:08:03,183
[SHUDDERS] What is it?
Did you see something?
205
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,269
No, I just got very cold very fast.
206
00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:08,189
And now my entire
body is somehow on fire.
207
00:08:08,273 --> 00:08:10,775
Oh, these mumps are jerks. Phew!
208
00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:14,988
I also noticed this van is parked
out front in several other photographs.
209
00:08:15,072 --> 00:08:16,073
I never noticed that.
210
00:08:16,157 --> 00:08:19,159
The restaurant must have been
under surveillance. I bet it was the feds.
211
00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:21,286
You're right. I'll reach out
to my contact at the Bureau,
212
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,580
see if I can get us some footage.
213
00:08:22,664 --> 00:08:24,874
Good idea.
Also, I know you're not supposed to,
214
00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:26,125
but I kind of want to poke my mump.
215
00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:28,795
Bad idea. I'm going in. Here we go.
216
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,172
[CRIES IN PAIN]
217
00:08:30,256 --> 00:08:32,967
It hurts! How did I not see that coming?
218
00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:35,261
[EXHALES] I feel dizzy.
219
00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:38,473
Hey. You're off the floor.
220
00:08:38,557 --> 00:08:40,725
Yeah. Well, it's like my dad used to say.
221
00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:44,146
"Real men don't cry…
for more than three days."
222
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:46,023
So I decided to get my butt back to work.
223
00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,150
Good. You go through all
the witness statements yet?
224
00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:49,819
What? Oh, no.
225
00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:52,740
By "work," I meant on
Jason's in memoriam video.
226
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,449
Are you serious? Oh, yeah.
227
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:56,183
Take a look at what I got so far.
228
00:08:56,744 --> 00:09:02,250
♪ Tell me how am I
supposed to live without you
229
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:09,634
♪ Now that I've been loving you so long
230
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:12,887
Hey, we've got a lot to do.
231
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:15,890
Focus up and stop
watching funny dog videos.
232
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:16,975
[WHIMPERS]
233
00:09:18,018 --> 00:09:19,644
This might just be the fever talking,
234
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:21,939
but this unedited footage
of an Italian restaurant
235
00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:24,567
from eight years ago might be
the best movie I've ever seen.
236
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,985
Also, how weird are forks?
237
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:28,905
Forks are very weird.
I've always thought so.
238
00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:30,949
Yeah, yeah. [SNIFFLES]
239
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:33,786
Did we take too much cold medicine?
Not by a long shot.
240
00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:35,831
Balthazar is a thirsty bitch.
241
00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:38,041
Ah, I'll drink to that. [LAUGHS]
242
00:09:40,418 --> 00:09:42,421
Wait, look. [GRUNTS]
243
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:44,923
Garkabargo!
244
00:09:45,007 --> 00:09:48,594
Oh, sorry, can't… Can't talk.
245
00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:49,847
Need more medi-jen.
246
00:09:52,641 --> 00:09:53,642
Garibaldi!
247
00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:56,896
He's eating snakes!
248
00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:59,315
No, it's spaghetti.
249
00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,776
[GROANS] It's always spaghetti.
250
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,820
I'm just saying, if that's spaghetti,
251
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,739
it looks like snakes.
252
00:10:05,823 --> 00:10:06,823
[BELL DINGS]
253
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,325
That's right, Nine-Nine.
254
00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:10,160
That's the sound of the victory bell.
255
00:10:10,244 --> 00:10:12,914
We just crossed our
first task off the list.
256
00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:13,998
-[ALL CHEERING]
-GINA: Oh, my goodness.
257
00:10:14,082 --> 00:10:16,626
Terry, that is so great.
Which one was it?
258
00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:18,504
Fix bell. All right.
259
00:10:18,588 --> 00:10:21,006
Little less than I had
hoped for, but still a thing.
260
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,758
You gonna hear that sound nonstop.
261
00:10:22,842 --> 00:10:24,843
HITCHCOCK: Unhand her, you beast!
262
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:26,137
Give it to me!
263
00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:28,014
What the hell is going on in here?
264
00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:29,140
Hitchcock's trying to steal my sandwich.
265
00:10:29,224 --> 00:10:31,726
Well, we both ordered meatball
subs, but they only delivered one.
266
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:32,812
It's mine!
267
00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:36,190
Guys, guys, look, just
walk to the sub shop,
268
00:10:36,274 --> 00:10:38,818
it's a block away, and
get a second sandwich.
269
00:10:38,902 --> 00:10:41,030
Walk? Are you insane?
270
00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:43,073
Fine, cut the damn sandwich in half.
271
00:10:43,157 --> 00:10:45,909
And then what, genius?
We each eat a 6-inch sub?
272
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,286
Two and a half meatballs a piece?
273
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,163
Are we children? What is this, Russia?
274
00:10:49,247 --> 00:10:51,249
Okay, that's it. No one eats the sub.
275
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,126
Get back to work!
276
00:10:56,964 --> 00:10:58,924
Wait a minute.
Why'd he just go in the kitchen?
277
00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:00,008
Do we have eyes in the kitchen?
278
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:01,845
We got eyes everywhere, man.
279
00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:04,056
Ow, ow, icky, icky, ow.
280
00:11:04,348 --> 00:11:06,808
Look, he slipped the
chef a piece of paper.
281
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:08,394
I bet it's the address of his hideout.
282
00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,062
The chef knows where the hideout is.
283
00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:12,606
His name is Richie Lignardi.
284
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,608
We talk to him, we find Garibaldi.
285
00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:16,695
We have to go right now.
286
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:18,864
Go where? [GASPS]
287
00:11:18,948 --> 00:11:20,407
What's on your face? Huh?
288
00:11:20,491 --> 00:11:23,911
Oh, right. Yes, my disgusting deformity.
289
00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:26,122
Um, here, let me just…
290
00:11:26,873 --> 00:11:29,000
Hey, what's up, girl?
291
00:11:29,084 --> 00:11:30,919
Better? It's not worse.
292
00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:32,921
We're on our way right
now to talk to a lead
293
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:35,090
that knows where Garibaldi's hideout is.
294
00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:36,550
You're quarantined.
295
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,219
You can't go outside spewing mumps
296
00:11:38,303 --> 00:11:40,055
like a couple of mump fountains.
297
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,264
Not like this, we can't!
298
00:11:41,348 --> 00:11:42,891
♪ Everyday I'm hustlin'
299
00:11:42,975 --> 00:11:44,894
♪ E-everyday I'm hustlin'
300
00:11:44,978 --> 00:11:46,520
♪ Everyday I'm hustlin'
301
00:11:46,604 --> 00:11:48,480
♪ E-everyday I'm hustlin'
302
00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:49,899
♪ Everyday I'm hustlin' ♪
303
00:11:49,983 --> 00:11:51,943
Stop, you can't leave at all.
304
00:11:52,027 --> 00:11:53,486
Good luck trying to stop us.
305
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,489
You'll never catch us!
306
00:11:57,032 --> 00:11:59,035
Amy is Usain Bolt.
307
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,786
Is this the piece of
paper you're looking for?
308
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,371
You found the address?
309
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,333
No, it's a recipe for baked ziti.
310
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:07,836
It was taped to your
wall the entire time.
311
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,504
You're delirious, and you're sick,
312
00:12:09,588 --> 00:12:11,131
and you definitely didn't solve the case.
313
00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:12,591
You need to go back inside.
314
00:12:12,675 --> 00:12:14,135
Well, I can't.
315
00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:15,803
My legs stopped working.
316
00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:17,513
[GROANING]
317
00:12:17,597 --> 00:12:20,392
My testicles!
The mumps have reached my testicles.
318
00:12:23,062 --> 00:12:24,897
All right, just finish taking off
319
00:12:24,981 --> 00:12:26,440
your totally ineffective biohazard suits
320
00:12:26,524 --> 00:12:27,691
and have a little rest.
321
00:12:27,775 --> 00:12:29,236
Nonsense, Santiago.
322
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,071
We just have to buckle
down and work harder.
323
00:12:31,155 --> 00:12:32,906
We simply hit a bump in the road.
324
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:35,451
More like a mump in the road.
325
00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:37,536
[BOTH LAUGHING]
326
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,997
[BOTH GROANING]
327
00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:41,666
Such a good one.
328
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,335
Jake, can I talk to you
in private for a minute?
329
00:12:43,419 --> 00:12:47,298
Sure thing, let me just snag
this, cover up the ol' swell sack.
330
00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:49,007
All right.
331
00:12:49,091 --> 00:12:50,343
Okay, so here's the deal.
332
00:12:50,427 --> 00:12:52,387
I have a high fever, and
I can't control my body,
333
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,055
but you can do whatever you want to me.
334
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:56,539
Oh, but don't touch my
mouth, neck, or testicles.
335
00:12:57,852 --> 00:12:59,353
You've badly misread the situation.
336
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:00,896
Oh, thank God.
337
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,856
Jake, you need to drop this case.
338
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:03,942
What are you talking about?
339
00:13:04,026 --> 00:13:05,068
The plan is working perfectly.
340
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,152
Holt hasn't been lonely all week.
341
00:13:06,236 --> 00:13:08,071
Yeah, because he's too busy almost dying.
342
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,782
Look at him.
343
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:12,619
What? He's just Beautiful Mind-ing it.
344
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:14,704
Because he's a genius.
345
00:13:14,788 --> 00:13:17,415
He's writing the word
"case" over and over again.
346
00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:19,543
[GROANS] Now he's spelling it with a "K."
347
00:13:19,627 --> 00:13:20,711
PERALTA: Is that not how you spell it?
348
00:13:20,795 --> 00:13:23,297
Again, I have a mouth, neck,
and testicle-melting fever.
349
00:13:23,381 --> 00:13:25,090
Jake. Enough is enough. Hmm? Yeah.
350
00:13:25,174 --> 00:13:27,510
You need to drop this
stupid backburner cold case
351
00:13:27,594 --> 00:13:30,055
before you both die or I will kill you.
352
00:13:33,684 --> 00:13:35,853
Oh, my God, I thought
I was following her.
353
00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:37,104
Yep, I should probably lie down.
354
00:13:37,188 --> 00:13:38,356
Here we go.
355
00:13:39,148 --> 00:13:40,191
[GROANS]
356
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:41,652
Case!
357
00:13:46,073 --> 00:13:48,284
What are you doing?
I'm just sealing Jason's collar
358
00:13:48,368 --> 00:13:50,912
in an airtight bag so
it retains his scent.
359
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,296
I don't know how many whiffs I have left.
360
00:13:53,498 --> 00:13:54,667
Wow.
361
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:58,326
Look, I know that dog meant
a lot to you, so I got you this.
362
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,508
It's a dog.
363
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,261
His name's Arlo, but you can
call him Jason Two or whatever.
364
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:09,057
Seriously? I can't just replace
Jason with some other dog.
365
00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:10,893
Why not? All dogs are basically the same.
366
00:14:10,977 --> 00:14:13,187
Watch this. Arlo, go hump that toy.
367
00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,046
-[TOY SQUEAKS]
-Get away from that. That's Jason's.
368
00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:19,027
Look, man, I've been patient.
369
00:14:19,111 --> 00:14:20,653
We have a case we need to work on.
370
00:14:20,737 --> 00:14:22,489
It's time for you to
get over it, move on.
371
00:14:22,573 --> 00:14:24,742
Move on? Move on.
372
00:14:25,285 --> 00:14:28,288
Jason was part of my family, Rosa.
I loved him.
373
00:14:28,496 --> 00:14:31,375
His humping was the only thing
that got me through my divorce.
374
00:14:31,459 --> 00:14:33,461
Seeing him so happy made me believe
375
00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:35,629
that I could be happy one day, too.
376
00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,341
You wouldn't understand this because you
377
00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:40,051
have a motorcycle helmet for a heart,
378
00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:42,012
but I need to feel this sadness.
379
00:14:42,179 --> 00:14:45,308
So the only thing that
I'm moving on from is you.
380
00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:47,268
[TOY SQUEAKS]
381
00:14:50,771 --> 00:14:52,691
So I, like, have a dog now?
382
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,111
Hey, what's going on with those files?
383
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,695
Oh, we're not working on them.
384
00:14:57,779 --> 00:14:59,364
We're on strike. Hunger strike.
385
00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:00,991
You're eating potato chips.
386
00:15:01,075 --> 00:15:02,118
SCULLY: Chips don't count.
387
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,495
My doctor said they
have zero nutritional value.
388
00:15:04,579 --> 00:15:07,708
We want meatball subs.
You had no right to take ours.
389
00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:09,292
Screw this.
390
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,546
I'll log those files and
teach the hazmat class,
391
00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:14,841
and I'll do everyone's
work, because apparently
392
00:15:14,925 --> 00:15:17,325
I am the only one keeping
this precinct together!
393
00:15:26,979 --> 00:15:29,029
Um, I think you closed the door too hard.
394
00:15:30,317 --> 00:15:32,026
Hey, I found Popsicles.
395
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,071
These should help cool us down.
396
00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:35,739
[GROANS]
397
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:37,700
[SIGHS]
398
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:40,744
-[FALSE VOICE] "Thanks, Jake."
-You're welcome, nards.
399
00:15:40,828 --> 00:15:43,165
Peralta, Balthazar has a sister.
400
00:15:43,249 --> 00:15:45,876
Meet… Penelope.
401
00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:48,045
Whoo, yeah, mumps on mumps.
402
00:15:48,212 --> 00:15:50,088
Let's not dwell on it.
We should get back to work.
403
00:15:50,172 --> 00:15:53,551
Or we could fall asleep for five to
seven days and see how we feel.
404
00:15:53,635 --> 00:15:55,595
I will not rest till justice is served.
405
00:15:55,679 --> 00:15:56,721
There's no time to waste.
406
00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:58,015
This case is urgent.
407
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,017
Oh, boy. [SIGHS]
408
00:16:00,101 --> 00:16:01,310
All right, listen.
409
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:06,024
The case may not be quite
as urgent as once thought.
410
00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:07,109
Um…
411
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,737
I dug it up out of my desk so you'd
have something to do on weekends
412
00:16:10,821 --> 00:16:12,156
because you seemed so lonely.
413
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,950
You cited chatter from the streets
that Garibaldi had resurfaced.
414
00:16:15,034 --> 00:16:16,243
I did. I did. I did.
415
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:19,748
But said chatter may have been fudged.
416
00:16:20,624 --> 00:16:22,209
So you lied to me?
417
00:16:22,918 --> 00:16:24,002
Out of pity. You pitied me.
418
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,712
I wouldn't put it that way. I would.
419
00:16:25,796 --> 00:16:27,924
I am offended. I am angry.
420
00:16:28,008 --> 00:16:29,342
I am very tired.
421
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,976
So I'm gonna take a nap,
but when I wake up… Oh…
422
00:16:33,013 --> 00:16:34,807
You are in for it.
423
00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:38,144
How dare you?
424
00:16:38,644 --> 00:16:39,853
How dare me?
425
00:16:39,937 --> 00:16:41,982
How dare you?
426
00:16:42,441 --> 00:16:43,691
I was just trying to help.
427
00:16:43,775 --> 00:16:45,985
Oh, your help feels
an awful lot like pity,
428
00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:49,156
so do me a favor and
don't ever help me again.
429
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,659
Well, well, you didn't seem
to mind me helping you
430
00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:54,662
when I got you your job
back at the Nine-Nine.
431
00:16:54,746 --> 00:16:57,124
I didn't ask you to do that.
432
00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,000
[PERALTA GASPS]
433
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:02,003
You said we were out
of peas, you pea hog!
434
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,756
You're the pea hog! You're the pea hog!
435
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,007
No, you! You take that back!
436
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,510
-You!
-[BOTH YELL]
437
00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:10,055
Double poke!
438
00:17:10,139 --> 00:17:11,974
-[GROANS]
-[LAUGHS]
439
00:17:12,058 --> 00:17:13,809
[BOTH GRUNTING]
440
00:17:15,811 --> 00:17:17,731
BOTH: Gah!
441
00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,318
SANTIAGO: Okay, hope you guys are hungry.
442
00:17:22,402 --> 00:17:23,861
Made baked ziti.
443
00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:28,033
Thought it would be fun to use
Garibaldi's ultra-authentic recipe.
444
00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,910
Oh, great, pity food.
445
00:17:29,994 --> 00:17:32,414
Thank you anyway,
but I can cook for myself.
446
00:17:32,498 --> 00:17:34,916
Wow, I would roll my
eyes so hard right now
447
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,293
if it didn't make my brain burn.
448
00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:38,838
Okay, Captain, this ends now.
449
00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:41,841
I know your pride is hurt, but
no one ever took pity on you.
450
00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:44,135
All we wanted to do was
help you when you were down
451
00:17:44,219 --> 00:17:46,638
because that's what people do
when they care about each other.
452
00:17:46,722 --> 00:17:48,390
They tell each other lies and invent
453
00:17:48,474 --> 00:17:50,100
urgent mysteries that need to be solved?
454
00:17:50,184 --> 00:17:53,187
Come up with excuses
to spend time together
455
00:17:53,271 --> 00:17:55,982
like trivia nights or folk art festivals.
456
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,319
Or working old-ass cases
with their mumpy boy, Jake.
457
00:17:59,403 --> 00:18:00,946
Back to you, Amy. We're doing great.
458
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:03,240
You're gonna eat this ziti,
and you're gonna appreciate it,
459
00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:05,024
and you're gonna grow the hell up.
460
00:18:06,577 --> 00:18:08,997
Okay, you're right.
461
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,959
I'm sorry for the way I acted.
462
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:14,670
I can't wait to eat your food.
463
00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:18,716
Ugh.
464
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,925
This is revolting.
465
00:18:20,009 --> 00:18:21,094
PERALTA: Wow.
466
00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:22,596
Have you learned nothing?
467
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:24,932
Oh, God!
468
00:18:25,391 --> 00:18:26,933
That is worse than the mumps, Amy.
469
00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:28,217
SANTIAGO: What the hell?
470
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:30,688
I used Garibaldi's exact recipe.
471
00:18:30,772 --> 00:18:31,814
I know I'm not a great cook,
472
00:18:31,898 --> 00:18:33,524
but I love following instructions.
473
00:18:33,608 --> 00:18:34,901
Seven cups of salt?
474
00:18:34,985 --> 00:18:36,585
Even I know this isn't a recipe.
475
00:18:36,988 --> 00:18:38,155
Which means it might be a code.
476
00:18:38,239 --> 00:18:40,115
Ooh, interesting.
477
00:18:40,199 --> 00:18:42,368
Ten digits, maybe it's a phone number.
478
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:44,788
Look, 718, Brooklyn area code.
479
00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:47,082
Yes, that's definitely it.
480
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:50,920
Wait, did you actually use all of
this salt and 18 cups of oregano?
481
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,672
Back off, I solved the case.
482
00:18:52,797 --> 00:18:55,299
Nine onions? Oh, Amy.
483
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:56,718
How am I the bad guy here?
484
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,099
All right, all right. Looks good.
485
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,101
I can barely tell you hulked out in here.
486
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,104
Yeah, [SIGHS] but two weeks in charge,
487
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,438
and I didn't get any of
my goals accomplished.
488
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,817
You got Hitchcock and
Scully off their hunger strike.
489
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:12,778
I just threw a bunch
of popcorn on the floor.
490
00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:14,113
It wasn't that hard.
491
00:19:14,197 --> 00:19:15,573
Yeah, they're animals.
492
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,742
Do you want to know why
the amazing Captain Holt
493
00:19:18,826 --> 00:19:20,912
has never gotten the
evidence room cleaned
494
00:19:20,996 --> 00:19:22,789
or done anything on your list? Why?
495
00:19:22,873 --> 00:19:25,333
Because all day long
he's putting out fires.
496
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,420
That's what a captain does. Hmm.
497
00:19:27,504 --> 00:19:28,963
The only difference between you and Holt
498
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:33,551
is that he lacks the strength to
close a door so hard a room blows up.
499
00:19:33,635 --> 00:19:35,095
Thanks, Gina.
500
00:19:35,179 --> 00:19:36,763
Ah, you don't have to thank me.
501
00:19:36,847 --> 00:19:39,808
All I did was be the only
person who believes in you.
502
00:19:39,892 --> 00:19:41,101
Don't lean against the door.
503
00:19:41,185 --> 00:19:43,104
Terry caused structural damage.
504
00:19:43,897 --> 00:19:45,440
My God, you're strong.
505
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:47,651
[SIGHS]
506
00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:50,071
Briefing room, now.
507
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:54,356
I really don't feel like having
you yell at me anymore.
508
00:19:55,243 --> 00:19:56,328
What is this?
509
00:19:56,453 --> 00:19:58,080
It's a funeral for Jason.
510
00:19:58,455 --> 00:19:59,755
I want to say a few words.
511
00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:07,798
When Jason died seven days
ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
512
00:20:07,882 --> 00:20:08,966
This is your speech?
513
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,050
'Cause I didn't understand why people
514
00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:11,970
care so much about their dumb dogs…
515
00:20:12,054 --> 00:20:13,554
Until I got a dumb dog myself.
516
00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:18,311
I've only had Arlo for a day and a half,
517
00:20:18,395 --> 00:20:19,645
but if anything happened to him,
518
00:20:19,729 --> 00:20:21,981
I would kill everyone in
this room and then myself.
519
00:20:22,065 --> 00:20:24,025
Very violent eulogy, I like it.
520
00:20:24,109 --> 00:20:25,778
Charles, I'm sorry.
521
00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:27,613
You don't have to get over it.
522
00:20:27,697 --> 00:20:28,906
Take as long as you want.
523
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,407
Scully, it's time.
524
00:20:30,491 --> 00:20:35,289
♪ Ave Maria ♪
525
00:20:36,164 --> 00:20:37,583
HOLT: Okay, thank you.
526
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,293
Good news, Garibaldi's
phone number's still active,
527
00:20:39,377 --> 00:20:40,461
so they were able to locate him.
528
00:20:40,545 --> 00:20:42,380
SWAT just picked him up.
529
00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:44,465
So that's that. Yeah, that's that.
530
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,760
Perfect timing as our quarantine
531
00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:48,428
has finally ended and
our goiters are gone.
532
00:20:48,512 --> 00:20:49,638
Yes, indeed.
533
00:20:49,722 --> 00:20:52,182
We're free to go outside and
lick whoever's eyeballs we'd like.
534
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:53,976
Inaccurate, no one
is ever free to do that.
535
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:55,186
Yeah, you're right.
536
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,855
Anyhow, I am out.
537
00:20:57,939 --> 00:20:59,232
Uh, wait a minute.
538
00:21:00,358 --> 00:21:01,485
[INHALES]
539
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,321
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
540
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:06,616
I was too proud to admit I was lonely.
541
00:21:06,949 --> 00:21:09,369
So, thank you.
542
00:21:09,578 --> 00:21:12,039
You're welcome. Ain't no thang.
543
00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:14,290
No, it is a thang, and
an even bigger thang
544
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,168
is that you brought me
back to the Nine-Nine,
545
00:21:16,252 --> 00:21:18,504
and I will always be grateful for that.
546
00:21:18,588 --> 00:21:20,965
So, here.
547
00:21:23,052 --> 00:21:24,386
This is for you. Ah.
548
00:21:25,137 --> 00:21:28,057
Oh, sour candies, I missed you so much.
549
00:21:28,766 --> 00:21:29,892
Ah.
550
00:21:29,976 --> 00:21:31,478
[GROANS] It burns!
551
00:21:31,603 --> 00:21:34,064
[CRYING] Thank you for this gift.